Janet Hommel Mangas: MRI dye delights

I was lying on a table for a MRI dye scan at Johnson Memorial Health and, as one does, making small talk with the MRI scan nurse expert.

After setting me up with a warmed blanket, she professionally informed me of what I could expect from the injection of dye — a metallic taste in my mouth and a warming sensation in my body — of which I really didn’t experience either. She then imparted that the MRI would inform me when I would need to take a breath, then hold my breath momentarily so the photo would be readable.

Everything went hunky-dory. But I did pose one important question that must have loomed on her mind after hearing the male computerized MRI voice: “Take a breath.” “Now hold your breath.”

I wondered how many times my MRI scan nurse expert must have heard this male voice give instructions as she took patients through this test? Hundreds? Thousands?

So of course, I had to ask her the only pertinent question that came to my mind, besides if I got to choose my color of dye.

“The man whose voice you hear say, ‘Take a breath. Now hold your breath’ — what do you think he looks like?” I asked.

Before she answered, I said I think he’s a version of that long-haired model on all those paperback romance books I never-ever read in the ’80s.

My MRI expert laughed and filled-in-my-missing-name: Fabio.

Then she proceeded to answer, “I think he’s probably some awkward late-blooming kid with a low voice who still lives in his parent’s basement.”

We then went on to imagine that he’s making bank doing once-a-month voice-overs for different pieces of medical equipment. Probably practicing his “Now, hold your breath” in the mirror before he goes to work once a month.

I left laughing.

Suffice it to say, my Johnson Memorial Health MRI was unexpectedly delightful.

Janet Hommel Mangas grew up on the east side of Greenwood. The Center Grove area resident and her husband are the parents of three daughters. Send comments to [email protected]